Taipei, a city that feels both familiar and unsettling to me at the same time. My decision to come here wasn’t entirely rational. I was searching for fresh air and a solution to the pressure weighing on me.Unfortunately, been in Taiwan didn’t help much.
Although our relationship was on the brink of collapse, we still exchanged LINE messages, share the funny pictures I shot during the trip, and even discussed the souvenirs I should buy. The convensation was so calm that, in retrospect, it almost felt like a normal trip, as if our relationship was still intact.
But the truth was, I had already reached my limit. No matter what I did, things only seemed to get worse. A part of me no longer wanted to be with her. I even thought about talking to local women, perhaps even sleeping with one. My longing for love, which I had been deprived of for months, was desperate. Yet, in the end, as a married man, my sense of responsibility and loyalty to her prevailed.
I have to admit that I truely loved her. Despite all the hurtful things she had done to me, I still believed we could be a good couple. I wanted her to know that I was one of the few people in this world who genuinely cared about her. Though I didn’t have many options left, I did what little I could – I bought her a Taiwan exclusive COACH bag, which was her favourite brand, as a surprise.
After returning to Japan, when I show her the bag, she didn’t seem surprised. But I could feel that, if only slightly, the tention between us had eased. “What a nice bag” she said without any passion.
To me, that bag was a symbol of love and reconciliation – a message that, even under immense pressure, forgiveness and apologies were still possible between us as family.
Ten days later, she left home after a meaningless arguement.
Three months later, we got divorced.
She took the bag with her, along with everything else I had ever given her.
