It seems that I have overcome the hardest part. Even things will not be as perfect as I thought they would be, they are already good enough. I believe I can get what I desire eventually. However, there is still a small chance that I fail due to accidents or other factors.
After everything I have tried and done, if I am still not able to run off the fate of failure. I think it is the time for me to accept that exact moment. I was really close to it five years ago. At that time, I was young and had more energy and passion than now. So that was no the time.
Many people do not like that moment. Me neither. Still, I think it is beautiful. To be honest, it is OK if reality treats me this badly.